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Added: Ariadna Hunger - Date: 02.11.2021 11:14 - Views: 31345 - Clicks: 2395

Over the course of three weeks, a trial as emotionally and physically arduous as anything the young Anastasia Steele faced in the loathe-yet-magnetic red room, I have watched all three movies in the Fifty Shades trilogy. Fifty Shades Freed finds Anastasia and Christian getting married and going on a whirlwind European honeymoon that we, as the audience, infuriatingly only see in montage-snippets. What is the point of this wealth-porn if we cannot vicariously plan a lavish wedding celebration? Ana returns home to find that in her absence, she, a year-old who had just months ago graduated college and began work as an assistant, is now the senior acquisitions editor at a major publishing company.

How lucky! Ana briefly becomes Jason Bourne, and Hyde is defeated. This movie is only about an hour and a half, but it feels as though it lasted for 5, years. Whether to blame the source material, the directing, the editing, or the actors Johnson is a delight, Dornan is a corpse warmed up is an unnecessary conversation. With Fifty Shades Freedwe are the ones who have all been freed.

Dakota Johnson presumably popped the champagne. After Ana and Christian drive away from their wedding, their chauffeured car brings them to a runway with a private jet. But… how does that surprise Ana at all?

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In the last movie, Christian mentioned buying an airline. More than a single plane! He has brought her on planes before, not to mention a personal helicopter emblazoned with the Grey logo. How does she need clarification about whether or not he might be wealthy enough to own a plane after being with him this long? Christian is set up as a paradigm of wealth and sophistication, and yet on their honeymoon, he gifts his new bride a charm bracelet.

And a charm bracelet with an Eiffel Tower charm, which is the most infuriatingly and hilariously basic gift in the world. It is clear from the fact that she never wears this bracelet again for the rest of the movie that Ana understands this. Jack Hyde was a fiction editor at an independent press in Seattle. Grey Industries is a technology company.

And presumably, they have a basic security setup. This is supposed to be groundbreaking sorry, coughed a little bit on my tongue there erotica focused on female pleasure. Literally, how is this office run? Last film, we saw her ludicrously get promoted from assistant to fiction editor because she suggested in a meeting that they pay attention to writers with an online presence? Everyone should hate Anastasia.

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She is everything wrong with publishing, an industry that is frequently—and apparently more than justly—accused of catering to only the privileged and nepotistically rewarded. The one thing we see Ana do at her job is publish a book by the young and attractive writer Boyce Fox called Purgatory. We see from its cover that it is the first in a trilogy. Why is he starting in the middle?

What are these books? By which internal system is he operating? In the movie, she keeps suggesting this one manuscript that she says has great parallels to Inferno. It feels kind of weird that she keeps bringing it up. How the hell are people working at a book publishing company without computers? Authors write on computers.

Editors edit on computers. Because Jack Hyde was able to steal personal files, Christian ramps up security on Ana and the rest of his family. He hires his bride two full-time security agents, including one named Sawyer whose single defining characteristic is being hot, something everyone comments on. Why would he have been okay with that? It should be taught in comedy classes around the country. I realize that this is a movie but… again, how?

How does she know how to pull these insane, stunt-driver style maneuvers? I thought she was supposed to be a virginal audience stand-in. But why—and how—would anyone ever propose in a club?! Did he shout it over the music?

Because there is music in this club—they dance about five minutes after she accepts. But proposing in a club just seems logistically difficult and also terrible. We know that Christian loves researching people; he had files on all of his prospective subs, including Ana. And when he found out Jack Hyde broke into his company, he sent private investigators to find out everything they could about him. They came back telling Christian that he went to Princeton and worked at a few other publishing companies before the one in Seattle.

That was the result of their exhaustive investigation. But… no. He broke into their apartment carrying a knife, and he was only subdued by two security guards. He hacked into Grey Industries and was caught on tape. He not only sexually assaulted Ana at the office but assaulted all Marrid need spice 50 shades fan apply his assistants as well. There is an airtight case against this guy, and he has committed a heck-ton of crimes. Ana is mad after Christian gets drinks with Mrs.

Somehow, in 20 minutes, she takes a shower, gets dressed, puts on a full face of makeup, and does her hair such that her bangs are laying perfectly, and her hair has been blown out with curling iron waves as soon as she gets to the office. Of course, her hair was damp in the car, so that last part raises even more questions.

How does that not trigger an automatic police visit? Are there no panic buttons in this bank? And do banks even have five million dollars in cash just sitting around? Girl is ripped. I call BS. What exactly is she increasing the font size of by two points?

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And is the person using the drafting board doing this by hand? Please excuse me, I will be scream-crying into the ocean for the rest of the week. Home Movies 19 lingering questions about Fifty Shades Freed. Save FB Tweet More. Fifty Shades Freed. Fifty Shades Darker.

Close this dialog window Streaming Options. He has done the music for all three of these movies! Good on you, Danny Elfman! All rights reserved. Close this dialog window View image. James Foley.

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